Home > Uncategorized > Episode 6: Blackout’s Gun Shop…

Episode 6: Blackout’s Gun Shop…

They turn from the closed door, and find themselves in the main room of the gun store.  From upstairs floats down the sweet smell of cooking bacon, which combines with the heady aroma of gun oil and gunpowder. Over both of those smells though is the delicate and invigorating scent of fresh brewing coffee.

“Wow, it smells like heaven in here,” Joey says.

“Yeah, I can taste the bacon already,” Darren replies.

“This is my brother-in-law, Bubba, of course you guys know my wife Judy.  This is my son Junior and his girlfriend Angie.” Marty saying waving his arm indicating the people in the room.

Angie glares at Darren.

“This is Chevelle, and this here is Candy,” Joey says pointing out each girl.

“A couple of friends, we found along the way,” Darren says, “Two good ole girls you can always count on with a can of Dinty-Moore.”

Angie continues to stare daggers at Darren, who happily looks around the room.

“Whats cooking smells like bacon, we brought in around 17 pounds of gator tail if you want add that to breakfast, for some buckshot shells Marty,” Darren says.

“Fine by me, let’s see thats 17 pounds how’s 5 boxes of shells sound for that, and another 3 for a 12 pack of that Busch,” Marty replies.

“Sounds good to me, let’s eat,”Joey says.

Judy motions them to follow her, and leads the way up the stairs at the back of the room, between the end of the display case, and a door covered in ammunition posters.  The stairs old, wooden and creaky on either side are more gun and ammo posters along with a few choice Ammo-girl-of-the-month calenders.  At the top of the stairs, Judy rushes through a side door in the living room.

“Oh, smells like my bacon is burning,” She says as she disappears into the kitchen.

The giant flat screen tv on the wall to the left of the stairs shows multiple camera views of the outside of the store. The stereo on the shelf below the TV, is playing a very quiet Lynyrd Skynryd song, and beyond the shelf is an easy chair. Opposite the TV is a sectional couch that has seen better days, several of the cushions are torn and the whole thing is covered in newspapers and empty chip bags.  Junior sits down at the coffee table in the center of the couch and begins to finish re-assembling the AR-15 that is sitting dismantled on newspapers.  Angie goes and sits beside him and whispers something in his ear as he begins putting the gun back together.  Darren and Joey follow Judy into the kitchen and Darren sets the coolers of gator on an old vinyl and metal-framed chair.  Joey opens the fridge up and begins loading in the beer.

Judy begins turning the bacon with a spatula, “How have you boys been I have not seen either of you in over a month.”

“We were out at our hunting shack in the swamp trying to bag some gator, I got laid off from the refinery and Joey here decided to take a break from his offshore job to join me,” Darren says, “Here  give me a knife and I will cut us some slices of tail for breakfast.”

“Here you go,” she says handing him a knife.

In the other room they hear whispering and then.

“Have a seat ladies we will bring out some breakfast for everyone here in a few,” Marty says.

Marty walks into the kitchen and sits down beside Darren.

“So boys, did you like my little neighborhood decorations, on your way in?” Marty asks.

“Uhm, yeah man, that was horrifying, here have a beer and maybe let us know what your game is?” Joey says handing Marty and Darren beers.

“Well I decided that all of these rednecks wanting to come in here and take my guns, were going to need stronger persuading then just yelling out the door.  You see boys, we’ve had at least 25 groups of idiots wanting to come in here guns blazing to get some ammo and loot my fucking store,” Marty says shaking his head, “These boys were convinced that I should open my doors and just let them do whatever they as they pleased with my shit.”

“Had to teach them a lesson didn’t ya baby,” Judy says.

“You bet I fucking did. The few guys who came up asking nice and wanting to trade, well sure I helped them out just as nice as you please. But… This is a business, when you get it in your head to come-up and try to rob a gun store, you’ve gotta get a bit of a wake up call.  You see for some reason these people didn’t seem to think I would really shoot them all where they stood.  They were dead wrong,” Marty said.

“You do gotta be a dumb son-of-a-bitch to just go thinking you could walk up and take guns from a man who owns a gun shop. Now I will give ya that there are alot of dumb sum-bitches out there but that 8 kinds-a-stupid,” Darren says.

“Your fucking A right about that man, thats why I nailed up all those little yard ornaments, like those tiny funny little gnomes Judy likes from the garden store,” Marty says.

“Well Marty that’s why we rolled up nice and slow see, we come bearing gifts for trade,” Darren says.

“Also we got some chips and such out in the limo if you would be willing to part with some more guns,” Joey says.

“Chips? Fer guns? I dunno about that…” Marty says.

Joey pulls out a full-pouch of Red-man and slaps it on the table between them.  Then looks Marty in the eye.

“We might have a few other things to trade as well…maybe..” Joey says.

“Well… Now your fucking talking son,” Marty says.

Joey nods and slides it over to Marty who grins like a cat.  Joey stands up and grabs two cups and fills them with coffee he goes out into the living room and hands them to the girls with a nod.  Walking back in he notices Junior and Angie whispering still.  The pouch of Red-Man is still sitting on the table as he sits down again.  Judy begins taking bacon off the skillet and putting the slices of gator on.  Humming to herself she pops open the flip-top of her bottle of King Cajun Blackened Spices and begins to shake some on.  As the tail begins to cook all three men smile in appreciation.

Several minutes later Joey walks out of the kitchen and hands the girls a plate of grits, bacon and tail. He nods at them and walks back into the kitchen.

“I am sorry there’s no eggs boys, its been hell living like this,” Judy says.

Darren begins eating a piece of bacon and looks up as Angie walks into the kitchen.  Her plate is clean except for the slice of gator tail which is un-touched.  She glares at Darren as she sets the plate down in front of him.

“No thanks, I ain’t eating no food he brings in here,” Angie says.

“You’ve had a bug up your ass since they came in here Angie, whats your trouble?” Marty asks.

“Ask HIM!” She says pointing at Darren

Everyone turns to look at Darren who with a  mouthfull of bacon looks up.

“What?” he asks.

“You know what, fucker,” she says.

Darren looks around the room and then looks back at Angie.

“I really don’t understand why your mad at me…. Well there was that piece of shit you called an omelet, that actually tasted like sour pigs you brought to my table at Benny’s dinner last month. Is that what your on about?” Darren asks.

“You mother fucker, you know damn good and well I don’t cook that shit, I am the goddamn waitress and I just bring the fucking food out, why the fuck did you have to go on and on yelling at me about how shitty it was when I had nothing what-so-ever to do with it,” She says dripping venom.

“Hey you got my dander up, insisting that I eat something that tasted like roadkill that’s been sitting in the sun for a week of Sundays,” Darren says.

“Why take it out on me though? Did you honestly think I cooked that plate of food?” she asks.

“Well who else am I going to tell? I ain’t saying I was mad at you, you just kept telling me ta eat it,” Darren says.

“There will be no more of this shit at my table, Angie go sit the fuck down, and Darren clam it up boy,” Judy says.

Darren starts to raise his hand looking at Angie and just as he opens his mouth, Judy pulls a taser from her apron pocket and points it an inch from Darren’s face.

“Now, I know you weren’t about to say something stupid were ya?” She asks, then glances at Angie, “And you go sit your ass back down out there.”

Joey and Marty glance at each other smiling and continue eating.  As Angie walks back into the living room Junior says.

“I told you not to say nothing.  It was over a month ago and no one gives no fuck.”

“Shut the fuck up Junior,” Angie says.

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Categories: Uncategorized
  1. October 18, 2009 at 6:28 pm

    NICE!!! MORE…Is Needed!

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