Home > Uncategorized > Episode 10: Cry me a river…

Episode 10: Cry me a river…

After several minutes of laughter, “I think she needs to teach you how to shoot Darren. You’ve never hit anything near that spread.” Marty says.

“He sure the fuck hasn’t.” Joey says.

“You shit!  ..You fucking asshole!” Darren yells, “Your supposed to be like family, what happened to the love man?”

“Go fuck yourself. You’ve never shot fer shit and you know it. …I need a goddamn beer,” Joey says.

“A beer does sound nice,” Candy says.

“Let’s go upstairs and clean off those rifles, they were rained on for a little bit there and I don’t like rust.  It’s bad for business. After that, we can play some poker and have some more Gator tail. How’s that sound,” Marty says.

They turn and walk up the stairs towards the gun shop. Halfway up to the door above, Darren looks over at Angie.

“Hey your Pinto out front… Yeah …it fucking exploded earlier when ole Ned, god rest his retarded soul ran smack into it and blew it to hell,” Darren says.

“Bullshit…” Angie begins.

“No really he did too, made one hell of a mess too.” Joey says.

“Yeah he’s right, sorry Angie but your car is scrap metal…” Marty tells her.

“Mother fucker!” she yells.

They all file into the store, turning they proceed up the stairs to the living room. Where they find Junior cleaning the AR-15’s from earlier.

“Hey we were just coming up here to do that, but since your done, fuck it let’s break out the beer,” Joey says.

“Beer is good,” Chevelle tells them.

“Yeah it is. How many do you want Candy?” Darren asks eyeing her.

Darren grabs up the cooler from beside the couch and begins passing out the brews. Judy takes the can of Busch from Darren and walks into the kitchen, there is a metallic whoosh sound as she opens it up.  Immediately afterward there is a sound of pots and pans clinking together.

“I cannot believe my fucking car blew up and you didn’t tell me you ass,” Angie says smacking Junior on the back of the head.

“Hey don’t smack him, I asked if I could be the one to tell you,” Darren explains.

“Go fuck yourself. If that is the case then your happy ass is coming with me to the goddamn Ford dealership and I am finally getting that Mustang I’ve always wanted,” Angie says.

“With that shitty attitude, for a waitress. You were never going to get enough tips to buy a Mustang.  So I guess this whole end of the world shit, has done hooked you up,” Darren says.

“Yeah well our limo is boxed in now, so we will tag along anyhoo.  We need some new wheels,” Joey tells her, sipping his beer with a contented sigh.

Over the sound of grease starting to pop on a hot pan Judy says, “Ain’t none of you leaving till you’ve ate. I don’t cook fer leftovers. I cook now, you eat now.”

“Hey, I have never turned down dinner,” Joey says patting his belly.

“From the looks of you. You’ve never missed a meal,” Chevelle says.

“You love it,” Joey says patting his belly again.

“Well, I’ve certainly seen worse, that’s for sure. You are a bit cute though so it’s not too bad,” she say poking him in the belly like the dough-boy, and then slapping him in the face, “But don’t get cocky about it.”

“Wow, Joey your about as subtle as a rusty spoon…” Junior says.

“He is doing ok, I kinda like him. But I have no idea what Angie sees in you though, your too skinny…” Chevelle tells him.

“He isn’t ever too skinny he is just right. You leave him alone,” Angie pouts.

“The kid does look like he needs to be introduced to some hamburgers,” Joey observes.

“Come and get it,” Judy yells from the kitchen.

“Food, right on.  Get the hell outta my way,” Joey says barreling for the kitchen dragging Chevelle along by the hand.

“Yeah everyone moves outta that bulls way, he needs to get to his feedin’ trough,” Darren laughs.

“How are you two still friends… You each cut on eat other like one of Judy’s deep-fried thanksgiving turkeys,” Marty observes.

“Well, thats what friends do. We first met in 5th grade.  I’s taking a piss at the urinal, he creeps up beside me and bumps my elbow and well, it was on.  We beat the hell outta each other, ripped the stall door down and then both got marched over ta the principals office, all black and blue,” Darren explains, “We been friends ever since.”

“Oh how touching… Now let’s go eat before Joey hogs it all,” Candy says pulling Darren up from the couch.

Half an hour later, Judy clears away the plates and dishes while Marty breaks out a deck of cards. From the drawer beside the sink he pulls out a small tin.  Emblazoned on the top is a banner that say Remington “First in the Field”.

Carefully Marty opens up the tin and takes out the card deck.  Looking at it lovingly he takes the jokers off the top and puts them back in the tin. Meanwhile Judy passes out $500 in chips to everyone.

Taking up the deck Judy shuffles the cards and deals everyone out two cards.

“Okay, this is no-limit Texas Hold ’em.  If you don’t know the rules, you’re going to lose. Small blind is 10 big blind is 20,” she explains.

Darren puts out the small blind as he is sitting to Judy’s left.  Candy to Darren’s left puts out the big blind.  Angie is first to act sitting next to Candy and she glances at her cards, a 6-J both diamonds suited and tosses in a call.  Junior looks at his cards, 2-2 hearts and clubs  and glancing around calls as well.  Marty looks at his cards a 10-10 diamonds and hearts and throws in a call.  Joey looks down at his cards, Q-Q clubs and diamonds. Chevelle looks down at 9-J both spades, and tosses in a call. Judy looks down at Q-2 and throws in a call.  Darren in the small blind looks down at K-clubs and A-spades and throws in a ten-dollar chip.  Candy looks down at 3-6 diamonds and spades and calls.

Nodding Judy burns a card and lays out the flop.  It comes out 10-spades, 7-clubs and the 8-spades.  Darren, first to act counts out and tosses $50 into the pot.  Candy looks down at her cards again and sees that she is one card, a 9 from a straight and throws in a call to Darren’s raise.  Angie calls the $50, needing a 9 as well for a straight.  Junior looks down at his pair of ducks and folds.  Marty looks down at his set of 10’s and throws out the $50. Joey looks down at his pair of queens and decides to call as well.  Chevelle, who flopped a straight, casually throws out $50.  Judy folds her queen deuce.

Picking up the deck again, Judy burns a card and lays out the Turn card, which is a king of spades. Darren grabs up $100 in chips and tosses it into the pot with his pair os kings with an Ace kicker.  Candy in the big blind looks back down at her hand sees that she still could win with a nine for a straight and now only needs one more spade for a flush to win with that, so she calls Darren’s $100 raise. Angie looks down at her hand and folds not liking her chances of getting a nine on the river. Marty looks down at his set of tens and throws in the $100 as well. Joey still likes his queens and calls the $100 bucks, not believing anyone has a king to pair up with the board. Chevelle, having turned a flush casually throws in the $100 call as well, hoping to keep the betting going.

Judy picks up the deck again and burning a card lays out the river, which is a Queen of spades.

Smiling Darren pushes the rest of his chips into the pot saying, “I’m all in.”

Candy looks down and realizes her flush is probably not any good and folds. Marty looks down worried about the flush, anyone with a spade has him, so he folds.  Joey is next up, he got the queen he was hoping for and oblivious to the possible flush out there, says, “All in.”

Chevelle smiles and pushes all of her chips into the middle with her Straight flush. “Let’s see ’em boys.”

Darren flips over his Ace high flush and smiles at Joey, looks very crestfallen as his trip queens fell on their faces.  Chevelle however lays down the winning hand with her straight flush causing Darren to flinch.

“Holy shit one that can shoot and one that can play cards better than Gambit,” Darren says accepting defeat with his jolly smile.

“No shit, Chevelle darlin’ what will it take to get you to marry me?” Joey asks.

“Listen, I like you and everything, but momma always said to test drive a car before you buy it,” Chevelle replies.

“Oh, shit.”

“Y’all can’t just run off from the table with all the chips,” Marty says.

“Cry me a river Marty, I’ve got a test drive to go see to, but here, I’ll tip the cook for a wonderful dinner,” Chevelle says pushing all her chips over to Judy, who smiles and nods at her.

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