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Archive for June, 2010

Episode 23: Of Scotch and Slaughter…

“Hey Ray, since you have this nice armored truck here, instead of risking our nice pristine new truck we are just going to hop in the back for this Scotch run,” Darren says.

“Oh and darn we are going to have to put a few of these beer cases into the back of our truck so we can make room for us to all sit back here,” Joey says.

The boys load about 12 cases of beer into the back of their truck and hop into the back of Ray’s.

Ray starts the engine up, and they all pile in Joey and Darren ride in the back with Candy and Chevelle, while Dawn and Mark sit up front with Ray. Ray throws it into reverse and they swing around and then he slaps it into drive and they roll down the street, looking for trouble.

To their left as they pass between two of the buildings they see a convenience store, there are shadows darting around by the doorway. In the distance they hear gun shots and screams, echoing between the buildings and apartment complexes. A lone dog howls in the night it’s keening sorrow reverberating around them like a chained demon howling in some abyss-shrouded hell.

“Ok, that was kinda fucking creepy right there,” Chevelle says.

“Safety’s off folks, sounds like we are in for fucking fun,” Ray says.

The sound of safety switches clicking off makes them all grin. A scream of incoherent rage from their left causes them all to look that way. From the alley behind the convenience store two infected run screaming at them. The hail of gunfire as Dawn shoots out of the rear-drivers side cab window, while Candy, Chevelle, Joey and Darren all open fire at once chops the former humans literally to pieces. They fall to the ground and from both sides more of them come stumbling into view.

Mark opens up a burst from the MG4, chopping down three of the zombies coming from the right at once. Dawn shoots two on the left with a pair of three-round bursts. Chevelle and Candy put down one each. While Joey and Darren fire at several more who appear once the closer ones have dropped. The more they fire the more seem to appear, bursting from store-front windows and from between the buildings more and more of them come stumbling roaring their insane gibbering screams of fury. The group goes ballistic, shooting everything moving in the night. The sounds of gunfire don’t quite hide the hideous sound of bullets tearing through flesh and bone alike, the sprays of blackened blood rise like a plume from a garden sprinkler as the bullet riddled bodies drop one after another. The stream of infected continues as they move out of the bigger buildings and enter the old residential district of the town. From the sheds and backyards, from the garages and front windows, more and more of the infected come charging at them.

“Wow Marty was not kidding, it doesn’t pay to go fucking around after dark in this goddamn town does it?” Joey asks firing his AR-15 and laughing.

“Shut the fuck up and keep firing, Joey goddamnit!” Chevelle yells over the barrage of gunfire.

“Fuck this 3-round burst shit,” Dawn says as she changes out an empty clip.

Dawn thumbs the selector switch to full-auto and pulling back the breech and chambering a round. She opens fire on the next infected she sees, blowing the head off and rolling the shots down through its chest tearing it in half as she goes. The corpse drops to his knees spewing blood, brains and entrails everywhere. Mark saws down the infected coming from their right in bullet torn hunks, body parts and slivers of bone flying in every direction.

“Fuck this shit,” Darren says as they pass a Winnebago, he takes aim through his scope and fires on the propane tank with a three-round burst.

The explosion rocks the night sending a plume of body parts and gore spraying into the air.  They all cheer as the way is now cleared on both sides and they cruise up the street toward the liquor store. Joey pulls out a huge joint and lighting it up passes it to Chevelle. She passes it to Candy who hits it and gives it to Darren. Darren takes a heroic-sized hit and passes it through the open back window to Dawn who hits it twice and passes it to Mark.

“I ain’t been around much and I haven’t seen the world like some folks, but that was fucking fun and it sure the hell beats huntin’ gators,” Mark says as he hits the joint and passes it to Ray.

“Yup and it ain’t against the law neither,” Ray says taking a huge hit and passing it back to Dawn.

Dawn drains the rest of the joint in a massive toke. Candy laughs and lights up another one, which she hits and passes to Joey.

“Wow, Dawn finished that one off,” Joey laughs and hands the joint to Darren.

“Yeah she has had a bad few days, she lost her daughter yesterday,” Mark says.

“And I miss my fucking cat,” Dawn says quietly as she slaps a fresh clip into her Beretta and chambers a round.

“Don’t forget to keep hydrated folks,” Darren cautions as he pops open a beer and slams it.

Joey nods sagely drains his own beer.  Candy and Chevelle slam a beer each and hands some up to Ray, Dawn and Mark through the back window.

“Nice, can someone open that for me, I am driving?” Ray asks.

“Only one?” Mark comments smiling.

Candy and Chevelle sarcastically hand Mark an entire twelve-pack.

“I will,” Dawn says and opens the beer for Ray and hands it back to him.

“Thanks ladies,” Mark says happy now, he slams the first beer and tears open the twelve-pack for another.

“Do you think that the Roman’s had this much trouble when they conquered Germany?” Ray asks.

“What the fuck are you talking about Ray?” Joey laughs.

“Well I am sure that when they showed up at first it was quite a terrible situation, but this here tonight is fucking ridiculous,” Ray explains.

“Shut the fuck up Ray,” Candy laughs handing him another beer.

Joey lights up another joint and passes it as Ray turns them back onto the access road and they see the liquor store in the distance. The lights are out but the sign is recognizable even in the dark of the night in their headlights.

They pull up sideways to the closed gates shutting off the parking lot and Ray throws it into park. In the distance they can see the fire started by the explosion rising into the starry sky.

“Hey at least that fire will draw them away from us, for a little bit,” Ray says quietly as he hits the joint that Mark passed him.

Mark opens another can of ammo and feeds another belt into the MG4. Candy sits on the beer cases and reloads her Predator sniper rifle.

A shuffling sound from the right side of the building reveals a man in a police uniform walking toward them.

“Hey that’s the fucker who gave me a ticket for parking in front of my own fucking house,” Mark says lining up and pulling the trigger.

The cop’s body explodes as the 5.56 mm slugs tear through him from crotch to cranium.

“Hey dude I don’t think he was infected at all man,” Ray says.

“I didn’t like that fucker anyway,” Mark says smiling.

“Well I guess not,” Joey says as he hops out of the back of the truck laughing.

“Well the bars are still on the windows and it looks like there is still stuff in there on some of the shelves,” Chevelle says as she hops down beside Joey.

“Ya’ll stay here while I go check it out,” Darren says loading a fresh clip in his AR-15 and hopping down from the truck he walks toward the store.

The front of the building still has the bars over the windows which remain unbroken. Darren approaches with caution and tries the front door. It swings open and he pans his gun around as he steps inside. There is silence inside of the building, Darren walks around the counter and switches on the flashlight mounted on the side of his AR-15.

There is a moan as a man steps from the freezer in the back of the room, he is holding a torn off human arm and walks toward Darren dragging it behind him.

“Hey I got company in here,” Darren yells.

Dawn hops down out of the truck and races across the parking lot with Joey and Chevelle. Joey reaches the door first and yanks it open but Dawn squeezes past him as Darren opens fire. The three round burst from the AR-15 tears the man’s face apart and he drops in a boneless heap to the tiled-floor.

Dawn walks over and steps across the body with Joey right behind her.  She opens the freezer door and steps back with as Joey and Darren shoot the one-armed infected that lurches out at them slobber flying from his gaping broken-toothed mouth.

“This is fucking fun,” Dawn says.

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Episode 22: High Proof for Hot Ammo…

“Super bitch are you calling me a super bitch?” Dawn asks.

“No, uhm we were talking about a girl named Angie, just be glad you wont ever have to meet her,” Darren says laughing.

To either side of the door to the gun shop several corpses are impaled on spikes. The front door of the gun shop opens up and Marty waves them all inside.

“Hello boys and girls, I am glad you made it back,” Marty says as they step into the main room of the gun shop.

“Hi Marty it’s been a while dude, hows things?” Mark asks him.

“Oh ya know, some asshole looters try to force their way in here a couple of times a day lately. That’s them nailed up outside,” Marty explains as he throws all of the dead bolts and chains back onto the door.

“At least you’re getting some target practice,” Mark laughs.

“Was that Junior I just saw leaving?” Joey asks.

“Yeah they are headed out to Angie’s mom’s place over in Thibodaux, she wants to check on her see if she is ok,” Marty explains.

“Thank god that bitch is gone,” Darren says.

“My words from your lips,” Marty says winking at him.

Judy comes down the stairs and walks up beside Marty.

“Hi, Dawn and Mark how are you two holding up?” She asks.

“I could use a beer,” Dawn says.

“Yeah, we had to put Lorebell down, she ate Dawn’s cat,” Mark says.

“Yeah, I’m gonna miss that fucking cat,” Dawn says.

“And Lore too don’t try to play tough and lie, you were the one who spread all the Calamine lotion on her and tried to make it go away,” Mark says.

“Well she was my daughter what did you expect, but that thing I shot, with half my cat sticking out of her face, it was not my daughter,” Dawn says.

“I am soo sorry Dawn, here have a Busch,” Judy says handing her a beer.

“How you doing Ray? We have not seen you in months,” Marty asks.

“Pretty good, it looks like your place has been busier and much more popular lately. It actually looks worse right around this place then it does in the rest of the whole town put together,” Ray says.

“It is a bit, messy but it keeps most of the idiots away,” Marty replies smiling.

“Well I am sorry you had to shoot her in the face, but I know that losing a good pet is heartbreaking. I would suggest that you still have Vish though, right?” Darren asks.

Candy smacks him on the back of the head, “Your being a bit mean there, she just lost her daughter.”

“Hey she also lost her cat,” Darren say dodging under another of Candy’s smacks.

Judy reaches over and smacks Darren on the back of the head, she points an admonitory finger at him with a stern look. Darren looks down and kicks his foot a bit embarrassed.

“That’s better I don’t put up with nonsense in my house boy, you know that,” Judy says smiling.

Marty and Judy start laughing, the others soon join in.

Marty walks over behind the gun case and put his hands on the counter, “So what can I do for you folks?”

“Well I am really just looking for my…. You know what I will just keep my mouth shut,” Darren says.

“I’d like to get my shotgun that I left and those boxes of shells we traded for, also some more clips for the Ar-15 and as many boxes of 9mm cartridges as you can spare,” Joey says.

“That’s fine, the shotguns are right here,” Marty says reaching over and handing them the two shotguns leaning against the corner.

Marty also picks up and hands over a green duffel bag to Darren. He then begins laying boxes of shells on the counter and smiling at them.

“You guys have to understand here, there was going to be a gun show out in Baton Rouge here this weekend, which of course is canceled but I had ordered a whole bunch of ammo. I have several four-foot high pallets of bullets out in the back, I have more than I could ever shoot in my lifetime guys so don’t worry. You wont run me out,” Marty explains.

“Gimme something that will blow a bigger hole in somebody, I will trade you these two revolvers,” Dawn says laying her two matching chrome .38’s on the counter.

“Do you have an M249 in the back somewhere?” Mark asks.

“You want that SAW I showed you couple months ago huh?” Marty says.

“Damn skippy, if you’ve still got it,” Mark replies.

“I do still have it but Junior blew the receiver in it, up on the roof couple days ago and I am rebuilding it,” Marty replies.

“Ok, how about a .50 Desert Eagle with the halo scope and the flash light, you remember that one you had?” Mark asks.

“Ok, now that I still have, and I have that Banelli with the pistol grip you liked so much too. Also I still have that MG4 belt-fed and twelve boxes of 200-round belts,” Marty tells him.

“You got a Thompson?” Ray asks

“Yeah I just happen to have a Thompson with a nickel finish, I only have one drum for it but I have around 6 clips for it as well, and a vintage WWI ammo bag for it.” Marty tells Ray.

“You got some deer slugs for that Banelli? And hell yes I will take MG4 that thing is awesome!” Mark asks.

“You bet I do man, I got piles of them,” Marty replies.

“Ok, I want one of the Glock 17’s and a Beretta with a full-auto and three round burst,” Dawn says.

“Wow! Now you’re talking!” Marty says digging behind the counter.

“And a Machete,” Dawn says.

Marty sets a Glock in its original box on the counter and then lays a Beretta beside it, along with a Thompson Sub Machine gun and from the rack behind the counter the MG4, “There you go.”

He digs around and then walks into the back room for a minute and they hear the clatter of boxes being moved around.

“The only machetes I have are a bunch that Junior convinced me to order and no one ever bought cept him and one of his fucking friends,” Marty says emerging with a case which he sets on the counter.

The side of the box reads Erik’s Swords & Accessories. From it he withdraws several huge machetes.

“Are these the ones from the old Arnold movie dude?” Joey asks picking one up.

“Yeah, it’s a 24.5 inch long, full-tang 440 stainless steel blade, it is a nice blade. The problem was that folks were always convinced they were replica only and they never sold. So I stuck them in the back room, they been there for around a year now,” Marty explains.

“Hell you got enough for each of us to have one here Marty,” Joey says handing one to each of them.

Marty begins piling stack after stack of boxes of nine millimeter shells on the counter. Joey goes back outside and grabs his backpack from the truck and brings it back inside and begins loading the shotgun shells and nine millimeter boxes into it. Next Marty begins putting .223 Remington boxes up on the glass-top counter as well as huge boxes of 5.56 belt fed ammo for the MG4. Pulling out his empty clips Joey begins filling them. The other join in and begin filling clips and loading up.

“Now let’s talk price here folks,” Marty says.

“All right here we go, time to pay the butcher’s bill,” Mark says laughing.

“Well since it has all fallen to shit, I have been thinking about some of the little pleasures in life that I never wanted to pay for. For instance there is a liquor store across town called ‘Jim’s Spirits’ and he had some bottles of 30 and 40-year-old scotch that I have been thinking would be awful nice to have now that they don’t cost 300 bucks a fucking bottle,” Marty says.

“Hey that’s fine with me I am game to go on a hard liquor hunt for all these guns man,” Joey says.

“I’m in,” Dawn says.

“If that is the case we will need to unload the truck,” Ray says.

“Well not ours, it doesn’t have much of anything in it,” Joey says.

“Oh yeah well we have some Miller, like case after case of it, Marty if you’d like a few,” Ray says.

“Oh sure that’s fine, you boys do know the way to old Jim’s place?” Marty asks them.

Ray and Mark go outside and bring in four cases of Miller for Marty and set them by the stairs. They make several trips and end up stacking 12 cases of beer for him.

“Now you have a nice platform to stack all the scotch on,” Ray says.

“That’s great man, now hurry back will ya?” Marty says grinning.

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