Home > Uncategorized > Episode 53: I Come In GreenPeace…

Episode 53: I Come In GreenPeace…

“Guys, hows it going out there? I am already kinda bored,” Ray says over the walkie-talkies.

“Well let me tell ya there Ray, we are just having ourselves a good ole time, I got a huge bag of weed and a horde of bikers on my tail. We’re having more fun than a weasel in a Rhode-Island red hen-house,” Hanzo says.

“Well damn, ever since you guys left, all the action left with you, its quieter than snow in hell,” Ray replies.

“Let me tell you about snow man, I once had a gig rolling a truck full of frozen turkeys up to Buffalo in January. It snowed so much I could have sworn I messed up and ended up in Ottowa. The drifts on the side of the road were taller than the truck in some places, and the visibility was about 25 fucking feet. So let me tell ya it was chocolate trousers time,” Hanzo says.

Ray laughs for a few seconds, “So did  you make your delivery on-time?” he asks.

“You bet I did man, I always deliver,” Hanzo replies.

“Heck you probably saved on your freezer bill on that run, no need to worry about turkeys thawing out on a day like that,” Ray says.

“You got that right, the funny thing was, I found out later from my dispatcher, those turkeys were destined for a community shelter, they were donated by some grocery conglomerate to a charity house,” Hanzo says.

“Why is that funny?” Ray replies.

“Well if they were going to give them away what difference did it make if they were there on January 5th or not man? Why have me nearly kill myself getting them there if no one was going to make a profit out of it at all. Well no one except me I guess,” Hanzo laughs.

“Because homeless people gotta eat to man,” Ray replies.

“Ray were your parents fucking hippies?” Hanzo asks.

“Hey you leave my mom, Sunshine and my dad, Freedom-Ray out of this,” Ray replies.

“Wait…”

“Hold it…”

“Uhm Ray…?” Hanzo asks.

“Yes?” Ray replies.

“What is your full name Ray?” Hanzo asks him.

“…Why?” Ray asks.

“Just had a thought and I was wondering…” Hanzo says.

“Okay, well I don’t see why it would matter but my full name is, Freedom Ray GP Sunshine Rogers Junior,” Ray tells him.

“Holy fucking hell, whats the GP stand for?” Hanzo asks.

“GreenPeace,” Ray replies.

“No fucking way, you are making that up,” Hanzo says.

“No that is on my birth certificate, I tried to change it from peace to thumb a few years back but they would not let me,” Ray replies.

Hanzo laughs loudly over the radio.

“You should have seen how much trouble it took for me to get my driver’s license,” Ray laughs.

“Let me ask you something Ray, did you get beat up in school alot?” Hanzo asks.

“No man I had the best weed, man everyone loved me in high school,” Ray replies.

Hanzo laughs even louder.

“Yeah man, if it hadn’t been for the weed life as a computer using dweeb would have been hell,” Ray laughs.

“Ray’s right we really did call him G.P. in high school,” Dawn says laughing on the radio.

“See I don’t lie man,” Ray laughs.

“No wonder you moved next to him Dawn,” Darren laughs.

“Hey what are you talking about man, this is the house I grew up in and that is the house she grew up in. Hell I am the second generation in that buried container to. My dad had a PHD in weedology,” Ray tells them.

“Your so full of shit Ray, there is no such thing as weedology,” Hanzo laughs.

“Okay your right about that he was an agricultural specialist though, he did have degree in that,” Ray says.

“Really?” Hanzo laughs.

“Yeah, the strain of weed I am growing was cultivated, cloned, nurtured and invented by my dad,” Ray replies, “It is specifically designed to grow in a container, with the idea that eventually it would be grown in hothouses on other planets and on interstellar voyages. My dad was a bit of a Star Trek nerd.”

“No fucking way,” Hanzo laughs, “Star Trek sucks ass compared to Star Wars man, Jedi rule man. Didn’t you know.”

“Fuck those mitichlonrians right in jar-jar’s stupid asshole man,” Ray laughs.

“Oh no he didn’t. You just had to bring up fucking jar-jar didn’t you,” Hanzo says.

“Look as hard as you like, you will never find an abomination as absurd as jar-jar in Star Trek,” Ray laughs.

“What about the Tribbles?” Hanzo asks.

“Ok, I will give you that, the tribbles were awful,” Ray laughs.

“While I agree that jar-jar was terrible, but then again Chakotay from Voyager was a piece of shit, I hated him and he ruined that show,” Dawn says.

“Him and Neelix sucked much ass,” Hanzo laughs.

“Wait a second Hanzo, you pretty much just admitted to watching star trek,” Ray laughs.

“Shut the fuck GreenPeace, somewhere there is a willy that needs freeing Ray go get on it,” Hanzo laughs.

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