Episode 34: This is My BoomStick!

They are standing there laughing and passing around a joint when there is a rustling sound in the high grass of the ditch beside the highway. A huge cancerous-diseased snout pokes out of the grass to their left. The alligator’s teeth are broken and rotted, its eyes are greenish and oozing pus. They all pull out their pistols and open fire.

The gator pushes its head and shoulders out onto the road as blast after blast hits its flesh and tears into it.

The bullets rip and shred its head but it keeps on crawling toward them. Both of its eyes explode as high-velocity bullets punch them out the back of its head ricocheted of its sloped-skull.

But it keeps on coming.

Darren unload all five shots from his 410 Judge, exposing its upper jaw after blasting away all the meat from its nose.

But still it keeps crawling toward them its mouth snapping and flecks of greenish-ichor splashing on the pavement as it lurches instinctively toward them, its hunger unfathomable.

“Fuck this shit,”Hanzo says setting the bottle of Jack on the bumper of his truck and putting his Desert Eagle back in its holster.

He pulls a pistol grip shotgun from its sheath on his back. He jacks the slide, chambering a shell, he aims at the gator and pulls the trigger. The 12 gauge slug blows a hole right through creatures skull, mangling its spine and bouncing off the road to explode out of its back through its stomach.

The beast twitches and fountains of gore and guts spew from its many wounds for a few moments and then it seems to collapse as it dies.

“That fucking thing was a tank!”Darren exclaims.

“Holy fucking hell!”Joey says.

“Fucking A,”Candy says.

“That mother fucker did NOT want to die!”Chevelle says.

“Well he’s fucking dead now, no one survives the fucking mini-slugs!”Hanzo says as he ejects a shell and then eases the shotgun back into its sheath on his back.

“Fuck yeah he is, err..whats a mini-slug?”Joey asks.

“Oh it is this cool little tiny shotgun shell that hold s a slug in there but it is only half the size of normal shotgun shell. Thing packs a hell of a wallop,”Hanzo answers.

“Where the fuck did you get a pump-action shotgun that fucking small?”Joey asks.

“I got it at a gun show of course. About six months ago I was at a gun show in San Antonio, the guys from Aguila were there and they had a booth and they showed me their new shotgun slug rounds. The testing and everything were fantastic, so I agreed to meet them the next day at the range. It was fun and I ended up buying a shotgun they had customized called a ‘Super-Shorty’ and a shit ton of the slugs they had made,”Hanzo tells them.

“That is fucking cool,”Joey says as he stoops over and picks up the 1.75 inch shell from the ground.

“That is cool, we should get the fuck out of here more of them will come now that we’ve blasted the shit out of the place,”Darren says.

They all agree and Chevelle gives Hanzo a bag of weed and they hop in the trucks. As they start ’em up and drive off another three gators emerge from the ditch and begin feasting on the carcass of the monster they had killed.

They pass Duval road and are rolling past the houses along the highway on their right. A zombie steps from behind a wrecked truck and reaches for them as they pass. Hanzo swerves a bit and smashes it flat as he follows them.

“Wait stop it’s them again, we gotta stop them,”Chevelle says pointing to the house beside the road.

They all look over and see a group of bikers rampaging in the yard of a trailer house. There is a man hanging limply from a cross on the yard and several others tied up to posts in the front yard as well.

Darren stops the truck and they all pile out.  Candy sets her rifle up on the open-window of the trucks passenger side door.  She lines up a shot and takes out a biker as he is stabbing with a knife down toward a girl tied to a stake. The echo of the gunshot seems loud in the sudden silence. The bikers stop what they are doing and as one look over to the intruders who have disrupted their fun.

“Fuck ’em up!”Candy yells as she shoots again.

This time at one of the bikers, who is standing beside what must be the mom of the household, has his head explode in a shower of brains and gore as he topples bonelessly to the ground.

Darren stands up through the sunroof of the truck with his Ar-15, he takes aim on the man with a bucket of paint on the roof of the house, he squeezes the trigger and a three-round burst tears the mans head nearly off as the bullets rip into his throat and collarbone. Sighting in again Darren finds one of them trying to kick-start his motorcycle, another three-round burst hits the gas tank of the Harley which explodes in a ball of fury tossing the man’s body into the air in a shower of Panhead parts and flame.

Chevelle drops to one knee and fires at the closest biker. The 9mm Glock firing smooth in her hand as she pulls the trigger over and over rapidly. Four out of five of the bullets she shoots hit the man in the groin, the fifth hits him in the stomach and he screams as he falls over and his left leg tears off as he lands. She smiles and looks for another target.

Dawn stands behind Chevelle and opens fire in a full-auto burst from her Beretta. The bullets stream across two of the bikers as they raise weapons to return fire. They both cry out as the 9mm slugs rip into them, blood spraying like a mist rising from the swamp as they crash to the ground.

Joey exits the truck and lays his Ar-15 across the hood to steady it, he fires at one of the bikers who is standing beside one of the smaller figures tied to posts with a gun in his hand. He squeezes the trigger and a three-round burst takes the biker in the chest. The man falls forward his gun firing into the ground as he drops. Joey aims again this time hitting a biker just emerging from the front door of the house who is zipping up his pants. The three-round burst tears a line up the mans stomach emptying out his guts in a wave of released blood and gore.

From behind the house a Harley Trike comes tearing toward the road with two bikers on it. A burst of .50 caliber bullets from twin Desert Eagles smash into them rupturing their faces and chests as they seek escape but find only destruction. Hanzo lowers the smoking guns as the dust settles and the bodies topple from the Trike.

He holsters his Eagles and walks toward the Joey and the others by their truck. He opens his mouth to say something when a biker stands up from beside a Harley he is walking past and charges at Hanzo. Hanzo reaches over his shoulder and pulls his shotgun out.

“This is my Boomstick!”he screams as he pulls the trigger point-blank on the biker’s face.

Episode 0: The flash

Joey and Darren pulled their beat-up pickup into the gas station and parked by the pump. The engine shuddered and died with a metallic clank. To their left was a stretch limo with what looked like a dead man in a fur coat hanging out of the drivers-side window.

“Dude, I think that guy you ran over back there left his fucking forearm in the radiator,” Darren says, looking down at the steaming hood.

“I ain’t walking all the way back to New Orleans man, see if that limo has the keys in there.”

Stepping over to the 1973 Cadillac limo, Darren peeks over the dead man’s shoulder.

“Yeah, there are some keys in there. Help me pull this dead pimp-looking fucker outta here!”

Getting out of the truck, Joey grabs their shotguns and leans them against the limo. They each grab a shoulder and yank the corpse out of the window. The body falls to the parking lot with a sickening thump, its throat cut ear to ear.

From the back of the limo, a weak thumping noise could be heard. Joey walks to the back door and looks through the glass. There are two very skinny girls weakly pounding their fists against the sunroof.

Joey opens the door. The two women fell out on the ground.

“What the hell are you two bitches doing hiding in a limo with a dead pimp hanging on the fucking door?”

“Randy never unlocked the doors when we stopped and got his fool throat cut,” The redheaded girl says “Do you have any water?”

“Here, have a sip of this Busch,” Darren says, pulling a tall-boy from the cargo pocket of his pants.

The girls both grab at the can, The brunette pulls the tab and they both share the beer until it is gone.

“What the hell is going on?” Darren asks. “We have seen more dead bodies on the road then there are flies in an outhouse.”

“Where the hell have you two been? The fucking world ended a month ago. Goddamn fire from the sky fell down and destroyed everything.”

“We’ve been hunting out in the swamp, ya know?” Joey says. “Gators and any birds we happen to see.”

“We did seen us a flash, but we thought one of the refineries blew up. This ain’t the first time that’s happened.” Darren mumbles.

“You girls got any weed? Fucking Darren bogarted the last roach couple days ago.”

“Randy keeps a big pile of buds in the humidor on his coffee table in the French quarter,” The brunette says.

“Right on. Let’s go!” Joey yells.

“Hang on a sec,” the redhead says, walking toward the store. “Let me go inside and get some chips or something.”

“Get me a cigar, and get Joey a pouch of Red-Man!” Darren calls after her.

“And get some Zig-Zags!”

Two Rednecks surviving after the apocalypse..

This is the continuing story of two rednecks who discovered upon returning from their latest hunting trip that they missed the apocalypse, so now they must survive on a mostly dead earth.

(All content on this site is (c) Victor Mongaras & T. Patrick Rooney)